so, this is the new year?

and i don't feel any different.

(how many times have i said that one?)

i've even given myself almost 2 full weeks to taste the last year of the decade.

yeah, you read that correctly: 2010 is the final year of the current decade.

just think about this: was there a year 0 A.D.(for the widely-used gregorian calendar)?

answer: no.

ergo, the years anno domini started with year 1.

google or wiki it.

i challenge you.

somebody needs to spread the truth.

it might as well start with me.

since i only speak the truth.

i spit hot fire.

but in all seriousness, 2010, eh?

bid farwell to the old year and warmly welcomed the new in good style: with good friends having good times.

but other than that, it's just another year.

or is it?

the year 2010 opens with me growing up faster than i realized i would.

that in part is due to the fact that, according to the korean age-year system, i'm now 24.

as opposed to my 22 (soon to be 23) american years.

the year 2010 unfolds with me living a world away from the world i knew.

and this fact leads me to my new year's resolutions....

1) be more korean-american

and that's all i've got.

(why i've only set one goal is probably due to a lack of preparation, lack of imagination, or my inherent fear of failure or any combination of the afore mentioned..)

as i told a friend not too long ago, i prefer more qualitative goals over the more quantitative.

clearly, my goal is heavily qualitative.

but, joe/joseph/joe c./jo, how exactly do you plan to be more 'korean-american?' you may ask.

i'm not entirely certain, to be honest.

i think the first, and most important step to the entire process, is to learn korean.

learn a lot of it and learn it as quickly as possible.

of course, as with any language acquisition, this takes considerably time and effort.

but, hey, i've got all the time in the world.

after all, i haven't set a deadline for my living in korea.

but, it is important to note i'm not trying to be a full-fledged korean, simply more korean-american.

i think i've got the latter half of that one down.

i just need to work on the first part, being more korean.

there's probably no way i'll ever be wholely korean, even if i wanted to be.

of course, that means i don't want to be completely korean.

for me to be completely korean would be to forget about half of me, my father's half.

i'm not living in korea to forget about me; i live here to realize me.

i'll stray from using such phrases as "find myself."

i'm not into that business; i think you can find direction, but you'll never need to "find yourself."

i mean, shit, did you lose yourself?

that's another post.

i live in korea now to attempt to strike a better balance in me.

i want to even the scales, one side holds my 'korean,' the other my 'american.'

and look at that; i'm already getting some of this confucian stuff.

after learning the language, i'm not sure what comes next.

maybe reading a lot of books.

maybe surrounding myself with koreans.

i don't know.

but something tells me i need to learn the language first.

maybe after that i'll see what i'm supposed to do next.

maybe i'll receive a sign of sorts.

baby steps.

lots of love,

jo