so, this is the new year?

and i don't feel any different.

(how many times have i said that one?)

i've even given myself almost 2 full weeks to taste the last year of the decade.

yeah, you read that correctly: 2010 is the final year of the current decade.

just think about this: was there a year 0 A.D.(for the widely-used gregorian calendar)?

answer: no.

ergo, the years anno domini started with year 1.

google or wiki it.

i challenge you.

somebody needs to spread the truth.

it might as well start with me.

since i only speak the truth.

i spit hot fire.

but in all seriousness, 2010, eh?

bid farwell to the old year and warmly welcomed the new in good style: with good friends having good times.

but other than that, it's just another year.

or is it?

the year 2010 opens with me growing up faster than i realized i would.

that in part is due to the fact that, according to the korean age-year system, i'm now 24.

as opposed to my 22 (soon to be 23) american years.

the year 2010 unfolds with me living a world away from the world i knew.

and this fact leads me to my new year's resolutions....

1) be more korean-american

and that's all i've got.

(why i've only set one goal is probably due to a lack of preparation, lack of imagination, or my inherent fear of failure or any combination of the afore mentioned..)

as i told a friend not too long ago, i prefer more qualitative goals over the more quantitative.

clearly, my goal is heavily qualitative.

but, joe/joseph/joe c./jo, how exactly do you plan to be more 'korean-american?' you may ask.

i'm not entirely certain, to be honest.

i think the first, and most important step to the entire process, is to learn korean.

learn a lot of it and learn it as quickly as possible.

of course, as with any language acquisition, this takes considerably time and effort.

but, hey, i've got all the time in the world.

after all, i haven't set a deadline for my living in korea.

but, it is important to note i'm not trying to be a full-fledged korean, simply more korean-american.

i think i've got the latter half of that one down.

i just need to work on the first part, being more korean.

there's probably no way i'll ever be wholely korean, even if i wanted to be.

of course, that means i don't want to be completely korean.

for me to be completely korean would be to forget about half of me, my father's half.

i'm not living in korea to forget about me; i live here to realize me.

i'll stray from using such phrases as "find myself."

i'm not into that business; i think you can find direction, but you'll never need to "find yourself."

i mean, shit, did you lose yourself?

that's another post.

i live in korea now to attempt to strike a better balance in me.

i want to even the scales, one side holds my 'korean,' the other my 'american.'

and look at that; i'm already getting some of this confucian stuff.

after learning the language, i'm not sure what comes next.

maybe reading a lot of books.

maybe surrounding myself with koreans.

i don't know.

but something tells me i need to learn the language first.

maybe after that i'll see what i'm supposed to do next.

maybe i'll receive a sign of sorts.

baby steps.

lots of love,

jo

s.i.m.t.u. 4

I HAVE NO POWER!
says norm stadler, in kona in 2005 after his title defense hopes were dashed.
and so says i, in seoul in 2009 after one my longs run was annihilated.
me, i didn't have two flat tires like norm, obviously.

instead, i was running on ice.
and running on ice is about like you can imagine it.
there is about %.147832 of the traction you would get on asphault or concrete.
i'm not sure exactly how to elaborate, but just imagine or remember if you were walking on ice.
now, multiply that by say 3 or 4.
running, for me, depends so much on the lift of my knee back and up, thus the foresole of my shoe tracts and backwards and upwards.
i ran for 1 hour, but planned for approx. 2.5
after 1 hour, my heart rate was too high, my pace was too slow, my muscles and tendons felt different (from different hardness of the ice).
after an hour of trying to keep my pace where it should be, but at times not even able to keep myself moving forward, i had to call it quits for today.

ugh.

it's frustrating.
i was so set on a long run today, and i so needed one to stay on some semblance of a training plan.
and long runs over my holiday would give me so much more free time to recover well.

maybe i should get snow chains for my running shoes.
i wonder if they make those.
i mean, those winter triathlon guys must have something special, right?

usually, i don't bow to minor elements of nature when it comes to training.
but i think mother nature has bested me this time.

oh, well.
just a speedbump on the long road.
i've still got about 3 months to the race, and i've already made significant progress for me.

in related news:
i might do a half-marathon 3 weeks before my full marathon.
i found a big run on the last day of february in southern korea.
they have a 5k, 10k, half-marry, 30k and full marry course.
i just need a korean friend to help me sign up for it on the all-korean website.
i think it would be a good set-up race for my full marathon.
three weeks between is great time to rest and prep and whatnot, too.
it would also give me a better gauge at how to attack a long running race.

more news on that to come soon.

anyway, i think the rest of today will be set aside for sulking in defeat.
i asked for a cold winter when i moved to korea, and i guess i got it.
i guess i forgot that with a cold, precipitate winter comes plenty of snowpack and ice on the ground.

happy training,

jo

got aloha?

(i found this shirt at a pool hall)

some aloha might be nice, for those who are fed up with the cold weather.
granted, it's just now getting good and cold.
but the snow has been stuck to the ground for the last few days.
something to which i'm not accustomed, but my balance will quickly improve.

and snow stuck to the ground/trampled down to an icy snow pack makes for interesting running.
difficult, i must admit.
and we're supposed to get a couple more inches of snow overnight.
hmmm....
i was planning on a 32k/20 miles tomorrow.
it's looking like a cold 32k.

i might need some aloha after tomorrow.
maybe grab me some of the korean sauna/jjim jil bang.
some of that steamy, sex-segregated, public hot tubs and showers.
but not just hot tubs (of varying temperatures and ingredients) and showers.
for the few dollars it cost to enter you can almost assuredly find:
complimentary soap and shampoo.
towels.a change of clothes lent to you to wear around the place.
blow dryers.
combs.
hair product.
television sets to watch while you relax.
massages (for a fee)
on the guys side you can get your shoes shined.
or even get your haircut for a couple of bucks.

initially, an awkward and slightly uncomfortable experience, of course.
i think this is comes from my western point-of-view, because if you were to visit a jjim jil bang, you'd find small children, so i believe koreans grow up frequenting the sauna.

but you should also know that these rooms full of flesh and fog are infinitely relaxing little islands of release scattered across this stress-laden land.
god bless the jjim jil bang.

i'm not even sure why i'm writing about saunas right now.
maybe i'm destined to visit one soon.

i need to hit one up before the year ends.
that's one thing i'll take out of this year:
the great value that is the jjim jil bang.

of course, i've learned a lot more, too.
maybe this post will be a part of a mini-series of posts to close out the year.
a sort of 'tip of the hat' to KO.
i feel it's at least appropriate for this year, my most revolutionary yet, i'd say.

so as i sit in my friends apartment, i'm gazing at the paper lanterns hanging from the ceiling.
and as i thought they merely hung from the ceiling, drawn taut by gravity, i'm proved incorrect.
i'm reminded of ben folds's lyrics in his song 'still.'

'even the things that seem still are still changing.'

i think that is one thing i'll take from this year.
thanks to so many giant leaps forward in my life, i'm starting to be able to see this thing called change.
i feel like i'm beginning to see change and understand it a little more, comprehending only in retrospect.
after seeing my life move from leader and student to graduate and bum to ex-pat and teacher, i see how much life can change so quickly.
and is still changing.

let me put it in terms of high school classmates (approx. 70 in my class):
some are still close
some have gone far
some have passed
some have brought new life
some are married
some are engaged
(thank you, facebook)

i graduated in 2005, for those who forget.
in 4 years all this has happened.
maybe it just seems fast to me; four years is a fair amount of time for things to happen.

of course, there is positive change and there is negative change, both of which i've experienced.
but, always remember: without the bitter, there can be no sweet.
many things i can change for better or worse.
unfortunately for my invicible me that exists somewhere not so deep inside, i'm beginning to see there are some things i cannot change.
but that's okay, even for me, a control freak at times.
somethings are just meant to be, if you know what i mean.
somethings are destined.
somethings are written by a pen larger than any of us could imagine.
somethings are typed by a keyboard bigger than you or me.

but conceding inability to change some things reveals a big part of me:
i may not be able to change something and i may admit i cannot change it, but why the hell can't i try?
i'm sure as hell going to do my damndest to try, right?
call it overly-optimisitc or a sense of false hope or stubborn or crazy or stupid.
but i think that's an inherent part of me.
at least, a part of me at this point in life.
who knows if that will change?

maybe i can go ahead and call it this:
'joe cundiff's 2009 = the year of change.'
does that rule out the possibility of other years presenting more change?
maybe not, since i've no idea what the future years hold.

this week of hoiday was desperately needed.
it couldn't have come at a better time.
one healthy reflection of the year down, umpteen to go.

aloha,

jo

christmas eve and i barely noticed

(i'm out of "english on korean t-shirts" titles. at least of the time being.

i guess i'll opt to title my blogs on any recent happenings.)

i think the reason i hardly noticed today's significance is because of my lack of short-term future plans.

i'm not going to beat around the bush.

the holidays are quickly become depressing.

i'm now that guy who is single, yet capable, and griping about it.

granted, my solitude is not completely based on my marital/relationship status.

i guess i could meet up with (platonic) friends here in korea, but i still fall short when it comes to (close) family.

meeting up friends is still an entirely viable option, just to clarify.

so, for the record, the holidays and associated holiday will be spent with the maximum possibility of friends.

no other friends.

no family.

awesome.

psych.

i'm sure you've figured this out by now, judging by my blog history and the tone already set, but this blog is certainly created with the intention of my venting/realizing my words/coping with my current situation.

i'll admit: i'm a scrooge, and it only worsens with each passing year.

in the states, i love bitching about the completely corporate national day-off that is now known as christmas.

i like to whine about how people get all shop happy, spending next year's money on this year's gifts, battling the traffic jams on the roads, calming the road rage with the self-reminder of the season, camping out to get THE gift, battling the human jams in the stores, soothing the bruises received with the self-reminder of the bruises dealt.

(shockingly, this laundry list flowed almost directly from brain to fingers to keyboard to blog)

i like to gripe about people putting up too many lawn decorations or exterior house decorations or interior house decorations or any combination of the three.

i enjoy moaning about holiday-specific wardrobes, that only see daylight for a combined of maybe 3.6974 hours, given the shorter days of the season. just mothball 'em, box 'em up and remember we got 'em for next year.

that may be wrong though; i'm sure just as many people make the impulse purchase as he or she shops for gifts and get that corny ass t-shirt/sweater/sweater vest/jacket with santa driving his reindeer (including rudolph and his battery-lighted nose) across his or her belly, scaling the muffin tops, lifting off into the heavens of the garment on said wearer's back.

don't worry: all of this applies to my own family and friends as well.

i hold them possibly to a higher standard, because they're my family and friends and they should know better in order to maintain that status.

i digress.

don't accept this as an exhuastive soapbox of sorts.

being here, i've lacked much fuel to this fire.

maybe that's bad, a kind of double-edged sword.

maybe it only reminds me more of the christmas memories i hold so near and dear, however negative many of they may objectively be.

maybe that's good.

maybe, in time, that will be the tiny tim to my scrooge.

maybe i need this.

maybe i need self-inspection and reflection to comprehend the failure i've become in the realm of holidays (something i just thought as i typed it).

i haven't been the greatest christian, more or less gifter, in many a holiday.

i'm going to blame that second half on my lack of a girlfriend for many a christmas, thus permitting me to buy whatever the hell i want for my family or friends and be comfortable, because they're my family and friends and they'll pretty much accept it anyway if i gave it a sliver of shred of a thought.

i think that's enough mental jerky for me right now.

how delicious it is!

and how refreshing it feels to peel these words and thoughts off my chest!

merry christmas eve if you read this on the 24th.

merry christmas if you catch it later.

happy new year's (eve) for those behind the times.

i'd like to think i'm going to post on christmas day, new year's eve and new year's day, though we'll see how that actually goes.

lots of love,

jo

s.i.m.t.u. 3

first thing's first:

i am now registered for the Dong-Ah Seoul International Marathon, 2010/03/21

pending payment of $40 USD participation fee.

yes, you read correctly: $40 USD

that's for a world-class marathon of 30,000 runners.

the also boast fairly quick times, thanks to the course holding a mostly negative grade.

and for those who don't know of any significance of the date,

it's one day after my 23rd birthday.

ouchies.

real cool birthday present to myself.

thanks me.

26.2 miles/42.2k of a new world of pain.

now that i put it like that....it actually sounds enticing.

don't hate.

some people are just sick.

you tri folks can hear me.

and boy, oh boy.

here comes the winter.

the 21 degree (F) air temp. on the run this morning told me so.

or maybe it was the 25 mph gusts in the 2 hour snow flurry during my 26k run on saturday.

granted, the air temp. saturday wasn't too bad (the forecast called for rain, really), but running in the first flurry of the year/my first december in snow beyond memory (i had only heard reports of earlier snow over here) was actually really fun.

on the other hand, my chapped cheeks beg to differ.

no, not those cheeks.

the ones on my face.

but i might be buy some ninja gear to help keep my toasty.

what gear you may ask?

oh, maybe some warmer tights.

or maybe one of these: http://trisports.com/louis-garneau-balaclava.html

or maybe some of these: http://trisports.com/lg-2in1vitalgloves.html

and, as some of you might already know, then my growing-up-in-the-90s dream can finally be realized:

i can be a TMNT.

but the newtons are ever so slightly making up for the cold.

i mean, WOW! these puppies are light!

i've never imagined trainers being so lacking in weight.

let me explain the newtons for those who are not aware.

WARNING: be prepared to be informed beyond your will.

please bypass this section if you don't care; proceed to the final paragraph.

i bought the sir isaac guidance trainers.

they're like the stepping stone from heel-strike trainers to mid-/fore-foot strike trainers.

i was going to get the motion model or the all-weather motion,

but the sir isaac's were a few bucks cheaper, so i'm not investing as much in shoes i wasn't sure about getting,

and the sir isaac's do have a little bit of stability, which is good for a slight over-pronator such as myself.

as i mentioned earlier, this things are light.

newton running is not yanking your chain.

they stripped everything superflous.

it's all you need for a shoe. nothing more.

as far as the new form goes, i'm still getting used to it.

i've never had the best running form, but hopefully newtons will help fix that.

i can already tell they've changed a lot though:

different abdominal groups became sore after the first couple of runs;

my themselves are slightly sore because of running for the first time ever;

my pace is slightly faster, and i can only predict it will get faster, especially if i actually mix in the speedwork runs i've been meaning to incorporate.

the only hard part right now is the weather.

i asked for a cold winter before i came, but i didn't want cold training.

i guess that's because i didn't anticipate a race on the first 2nd day of spring.

oh well.

HTFU, right?

happy training.