i realize i'm (potentially) moving into phase of my life where my life may be more public.

acknowledging that and without spending the time and energy to comb through my past posts and comments and whatnots, i just want to say i am a new and changed person.

the things i've said in the past may not be the same things i would say today.

even the manner in which i said things in the past may not be the same.

i've always been one to move forward and look forward.
although our pasts shape us individually, i believe in leaving the past behind.
i believe in becoming better and more than our pasts, learning from our pasts.
i believe in learning about the present of others. 

i hope you will learn about my present, too.

peace,

jo

anxiety

amidst my anxiety, i have been reminded i must keep Christ at the center of my life and heart

this can be done in a few ways, but certainly prayer and the Act of Communion are chiefly important

i await word and i open myself to the Holy Spirit

peace,

jo

ember day trial

i have decided, somewhat on a whim, to try to fast this set of ember days starting today as i am in the middle of my discernment and await word from the diocese if i will move forward.  it will be a practice i aim to uphold throughout the year for all ember days if i am granted postulancy and seek ordination.

i will admit at this point it's partly to pray for myself and my discernment, petitioning God to make me a priest for God's people.

although i exercised this morning and took a protein shake with milk, i'll fast through sunset today.  i realized it was an ember day when i got to my office and looked at my calendar. 

rosh hashannah starts today at sundown, so i hope to find some connection to the jewish roots of our faith as we entire the jewish new year.

peace,

jo

addendum
what a day to choose to fast.  i'm feeling sluggish already at 11:30 a.m. and i'm getting straight up slammed at work. 

addendum
fasting again friday 22/9 for the 2nd of this ember day set.
very fruitful, but i very much feel in the middle of it.
i pray tomorrow is also deeply cleansing.

fisheaters.com has some tremendous resources for learning about ember days (and many other traditions) and even for discussing with/teaching to kids.
for instance, i learned that in old folklore, the weather of the ember days would predict the weather of the upcoming months.  for instance, the 20/9 wednesday ember day foretells october's weather, 22/9 friday ember day foretells november's weather, and 23/9 saturday's ember day foretells decembers weather, and so on.

addendum
this (set of) ember day(s) proved to bring me closer to God through Christ with the Holy Spirit, quelling some internal currents and filling me with peace.

writing vs. speaking

i revealed to a friend my writing/journaling style, how i just tend to flow a stream of consciousness
she pointed out how that's essentially the exact opposite of my speaking style, how i take time to formulate thoughts

it is curious thinking about that, how i don't like to put my thoughts down on paper in raw form.
but, i like be very careful with my spoken word

i guess writing is more of a vehicle to just spit out thoughts, just to get it out and recorded, although it is recorded permanently.
the spoken word to me means more to me because it has a direct and immediate audience or recipient.  the spoken word must mean something to them.  it shouldn't be just letting words flow free; it should be calculated and precise. 

i've fallen out of practice of writing in general, but aim to pick it back up again.  whether that's here or physically in a book.
i like it here because it doesn't take up physical space.
i like physical writing for the feel, though.