the death of spirituality in america

today, the rev. billy graham entered eternal life with our father in heaven.

i believe this marks the death of spirituality in america.
spirituality has been dying in the past few decades, aging slowly, hanging onto life, clinging in the last few years.
today, though, spirituality expires. 
usonians have been placing our spirituality in the hands of others.  we expect someone else to take care of it for us.  if we tithe, the pastor can handle the church.  if we pledge, the priest will pray long enough, hard enough to keep the parish right with God.  if the priest says the right words, we'll all be forgiven. 
on a related note, it's funny that usonians tend not to believe in the sacramentality that scores sacred orders and we tend to place our spirituality not in an office or a person, but rather in a corporate entity like a denomination or a brand (like rev. billy graham).

without a face or voice like rev. graham's, what will usonians do?  how will usonians react?  how will we manage our own christian spiritualities? 
will we realize we must take charge of our own spiritualities, realizing the full impact and potential of the personal aspects of the christian faith?  or, will we find the next best thing - the next loudest voice on the radio, the next pretty face on the tv, the next cool pastor on social media - and see how long that rides out for me, never mind my communities, my family, my children, the generations of human beings to come? 

postulancy

i received a phone call from the bishop today

i have been offered and i accepted postulancy to the holy order of priesthood in the episcopal church

what a wonderful feeling!

to have my calling affirmed by the church.

i so pleased and so blessed.

and i am so excited to begin the process of formation.

it's such a joyous feeling, that feeling of belonging.

that feeling of knowing this is where i'm supposed to be.

and where i'm supposed to be going.

that feeling of knowing this is what i'm supposed to be doing.

it's almost ineffable, the feeling.

in some ways, it's hard to describe.

those who have found their calling in life may know what i'm describing.

::sigh::

what a feeling.

now i just have to figure out where to go to seminary....

peace,

jo

liturgy

the other day after officiating evening prayer, one of the persons attending told me she really enjoyed my officiating in particular and really feels the Holy Spirit present
i was humbled.
and a bit speechless.
it's such a joy for me to officiate.
perhaps liturgy is part of my calling in ministry.
i also very much enjoy singing in the choir.
i feel so at home in worship.

also, at the postulancy conference, i was asked to read the Gospel for morning prayer.
afterwards, a laywoman told me she loved my reading, and she'd listen to me read all day.
i was so pleased to hear this because i think reading and liturgy is part of my vocation.

part of what i need to develop is confidence in my gifts and talents, something pointed out to me at the postulancy conference.
i think it's time i recognize and really own my reading and liturgy gifts.

lots of love, 

jo

hangover

ugh

i feel hungover

yesterday i attended the postulancy conference for aspirants of our diocese seeking priesthood and diaconate

after a full day of full-on pouring out of my spirit, i feel hungover

i honestly feel like i was put drinking yesterday evening and had just one too many

my fellow aspirants carl's friend calls it a vulnerability hangover

it really takes a lot of energy to be so vulnerable, to open up so much

i might call it a spiritual hangover.  i think this feeling can be had after any times of really opening our selves spiritually

being so open and in tune with things and people really requires a lot of energy.

even last night when I returned home i turned into a sloth

(funny enough, as i'm writing this i remember carl telling me he'd turn into a jellyfish and i wasn't sure I knew what he meant.)

as we were leaving yesterday father pae told me i could take off today and now i know why he suggested it: i was on a vulnerability bender.

i'm hungover.